emotional intelligence

Emotional Resilience

As I’m writing this email from just outside Seattle, there’s a ton of smoke from the forest fires that are all over the western United States. It looks like the end of the world. Between the pandemic and terrible air quality, it’s not safe to be indoors with others and now it’s not safe to [...]

First Woman CEO of an Investment Bank

Last week, Citigroup announced that they are appointing Jane Fraser to be CEO. She will be the first woman CEO of a major Wall Street investment bank. Jane was actually the very first person I ever worked with at McKinsey. She was my first manager on my first engagement during my first week at the [...]

Risk vs. Fear

Risk is defined as the statistical probability of a negative event occurring. When you walk across the street, there is a statistical risk that you may be hit by a car. Whether you are aware of the risk or not is irrelevant. The math still applies. Whether you believe the risk is real is not [...]

Stress = Fear

Years ago, I made the following assertion that really pissed off many of my peers. I asserted that stress is merely another name for fear. In the world of Ivy League schools and elite consulting firms, it was perfectly acceptable to admit you were feeling stressed, but very taboo to admit you’re scared. Yet when [...]

How to Manage Your Feelings

Are you managing your feelings or are your feelings managing you? This is a profoundly important question to ask yourself. You see, in today’s world, emotions are running extremely high. Fear, greed, anxiety, distrust, sadness, gratitude, depression. At any moment of any day, the people around you (and quite possibly you yourself) are experiencing many [...]

Behavior = Communication

Several years ago, I took a class on how to write movie scripts. The world-renown instructor’s students included many famous Hollywood actors (who wanted to learn to write or recognize great scripts), 50 Oscar winners, and 250 Emmy winners. One of the big takeaways from the class was how to create drama. And the easiest [...]

Shooting Yourself in the Foot

Here in the United States, we have an idiomatic expression that says to avoid “shooting yourself in the foot.” If you’re holding a weapon in your hand, you want to avoid accidentally firing it and shooting yourself in the foot. While such an injury won’t kill you, it will most certainly be painful. More importantly, [...]

How to Be a Rising Star at Google

Several years ago, Google decided to do a “big data” analysis on a very interesting data set. They decided to analyze their human resources database. They wanted to know what kinds of Google new hires end up being promoted and becoming the leaders of the company. The idea was to figure out what’s working, and [...]

Better Relationships in 10 Seconds

To have better relationships at work and at home, stop criticizing, complaining about, or blaming the people in your life. I know… it’s hard. I’m working on this myself, and let’s say I’m falling short quite often (as my kids will tell me!). So what could you do instead? Make a… REQUEST. So instead of [...]

What Does This Face Say to You?

In every professional interaction, the other person communicates on two channels. First, the other person communicates verbally what they’re thinking. Second, the other person communicates non-verbally what he or she really means. The big insight is that in many cases, what someone says and what they mean are not always the same thing. If you [...]

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