self esteem

Feedback = Breakfast of Champions

The single best way to improve your skills in any endeavor is to get feedback on your performance. Two kinds of feedback exist: 1) objective 2) subjective If you want to sprint faster, you need a stopwatch that clocks how fast you are running. If you ran 100 meters twice, the first time in 12 [...]

Impaired & Borrowed Functioning

People with low self-esteem have an impaired ability to validate themselves. I know. I used to be one of them. When I was successful in my endeavors, I felt fine. When I was struggling or failing, I felt like a defective human being. (It’s healthy and normal to feel disappointed by setbacks in life; feeling [...]

Self-Esteem & Feedback

To improve in your career, you need feedback. You need to know what you’re doing well and what you need to work on. The #1 reason new associates get fired at McKinsey is the inability to take feedback. Yes, it is that important. It also makes a lot of sense. The only way to grow [...]

How to Avoid Career Self-Sabotage

In this week’s news, there’s a story of someone with fame, fortune, and power, sabotaging his own career. You see a story like this every week. This behavior happens around you every day (even if you aren’t always aware of it). It may even be something you do yourself on a smaller basis. Why does [...]

Admiration vs. Envy

When we admire someone, we appreciate and feel inspired by what they’ve accomplished. Admiration is a feeling based in appreciation, joy, and emotional generosity. When we admire someone, we allow our souls to feel nourished by what’s possible for humanity and for ourselves. When we envy someone, we see them as a standard by which [...]

Why Smart People do Stupid Things

Consulting firms prize people who are logical, analytical, and rational. However, smart people routinely make “stupid” decisions. Here’s why. Smart people are like Superman. They have superhuman abilities (in this case, intellectual). BUT, also like Superman, they have an Achilles’ heel — a vulnerability and weakness that can bring even the most superhuman of us [...]

Relief Isn't the Same Thing as Happiness

Relief occurs when feelings of anxiety and stress fade away. It is the reduction of a negative. Happiness occurs when the presence of joy exists within you and is broadcast to the outside world. Do you live your life to seek happiness or merely relief? They are NOT the same thing. I’m a big proponent [...]

Who the Hell Are You?

At social gatherings in major cities in the United States, it is customary to say “hello” when meeting new people. The first two questions most people ask are: 1) What’s your name? 2) What do you do? The first question isn’t surprising. Its purpose is to know how to refer to you by name. The [...]

How to Accomplish... Anything

I recently wrote about the purpose of having a purpose and how it provides clarity in decision making. In response, I received a question about how one goes about going from Point A to Point Z when nothing seems to be working. I used to adopt a lone ranger mentality, whereby I would insist on figuring [...]

How to Develop Unshakeable Self Confidence

I’m often asked how one can project self confidence in a case interview or with senior level clients. I’m also asked how one can develop a sense of confidence after an enormous setback of some sort — “failing” at a case interview, messing up a meeting with a partner or a client, and so forth. [...]